I Like to Goof-Off

That's it folks. I am a goofer-offer! (I've even been goofing-offing this blog lately.)
What brought this up? I just read a post of Brene's at Ordinary Courage regarding our choices when it comes to what we ask of ourselves. She says:

"I’m not going to dig deep anymore. When I’m emotionally, physically and spiritually done, I’m going to stop. I’m going to stop feeling proud about

PUSHING THROUGH
SOLDIERING ON
DIGGING DEEP

And I’m going to start honoring

SAYING NO
FEELING TOO FULL OR TOO EMPTY
TAKING IT EASY"

This SO spoke to me today! Lately I've been thinking of making a list of all my volunteer obligations (this is in addition to Work, Parent, Household, Partner, Daughter, Sister, Friend) - since I am having trouble keeping up and am feeling overwhelmed.

OK:

PTO Valentines Luncheon Chair
2nd Grade Class Co-Chair
2nd Grade Monday Folders
5th Grade Party Chair
5th Grade Room Mother
PTO Hospitality Chair
Assistant Scoutmaster
PIC (person in charge) for May Camp Out
Soccer Team Parent
Wife to Softball Team Scorekeeper
Choir Parent
Houston Ballet Student Chauffeur (just YaYa - but it's enough)

Jeez - no wonder I haven't seen a movie in ages and haven't been to the GYM in oh.. 6 months.

Here's the rub - saying NO is difficult for me. I want to be liked. I want to feel necessary. I fear my children won't get what they need at school and activities if I don't stay active there.

(little voice in head): "Uhmm... Gee Bonnie. I hear a lot of FEAR."

(me): "Oh Shut Up."

So - back to goofing-off.(my favorite subject). Looking at the list above reminds me I may not goof-off near enough.
(Actually, if my manager could see the above list, he would say I goof-off plenty)
To me goofing-off means being somewhat naughty. I love that feeling that I am getting away with something and bending the rules a bit. Taking time for myself feels naughty - is that the "coming alive" that Brene is referring to? If so, these are the things that make me come alive:

Reading
Blogging
"Cat" Napping
Sneaking off to movies by myself
Horses
Photography
The Whole Spa Thing
Exercising (after about 20 minutes - the lead up to and first 20 are HELL)
Dancing
Cooking (when I want to)
Giving Parties
Tha Theatah
Traveling
Dates with Baby
One on One time with each child
Learning new things!
Staffing Woman Within weekends

I actually do a few of the above on a regular basis and some are less guilt-inducing than others. They all feed my soul.
It feels good to acknowledge them and to pledge to embrace them more fully (especially the exercise thing and movies and dates with that man).

This coming school year, I intend to say "NO" more often to fear and say "ABSOLUTELY" more to what makes me come alive.

Peace out.



PS. The Optimist Would Like to Recognize BABY for making all this Goofing-Off Possible. I am so grateful for him.